What a difference Lincoln’s Trombone makes!
Top 5, week of June 6, 2007:
1. The juicer that may or may not be attached to Al Kaline’s spleen
2. Guys who say “Been a business doin’ pleasure with ya’” just before they vomit on your necktie
3. Those booger-like things you sometimes find in your eyes
4. “More bedrock, Flight Commander?”
5. Primal scream therapy that sounds suspiciously like frat house hooting
Top 5, week of April 19, 2010:
1. Al Kaline’s spleen juice
2. Mopeds divorced from Nick Saban’s outhouse vantage point
3. Guys whose nose hairs remind you of tall guys with poor posture
4. Sexual positions recommended by Ruth Bader Ginsburg
5. French final fish—what once was thought to be…etc.
Showing posts with label sexual. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual. Show all posts
19 April 2010
01 April 2010
On FaceBook, Every Day is April Fool’s Day
Here are some of the favored pranks you can try:
Find a picture of a wineglass butt (females) or 6-pack abs (males) to use as your profile
Use the words “my son” and “state championship” in numerous posts
State that you rarely have time for FB, even though everyone can see via the chat feature that you’re full of shit
Track down old flames, then act surprised to find them there
Give BS examples of how your kids are oh-so perfectly smart
Express your 6th grade political views with such vehemence that people actually think you know what the hell you’re talking about
Call yourself a “playa” from the safety of Mom’s basement computer
Find a picture of a wineglass butt (females) or 6-pack abs (males) to use as your profile
Use the words “my son” and “state championship” in numerous posts
State that you rarely have time for FB, even though everyone can see via the chat feature that you’re full of shit
Track down old flames, then act surprised to find them there
Give BS examples of how your kids are oh-so perfectly smart
Express your 6th grade political views with such vehemence that people actually think you know what the hell you’re talking about
Call yourself a “playa” from the safety of Mom’s basement computer
08 July 2007
Overheard on a cruise ship......
10 things, heard recently on a cruise ship:
1. This food is awful; and the portions are so small.
2. Do these stairs go up or down?
3. I wonder if the crew sleeps onboard?
4. Does the ship make it's own electricity?
5. Those toilets will suck your nuts right down to the ocean!
6. Al Kaline couldn't hold Willie Keeler's jock strap (a small scuffle ensued)
7. I prefer LeKinff to Tarkay (what the hell?)
8. But how do you KNOW they are Cuban?
9. Sexual frustration is simply a matter of personal preference, just ask any Cowboy goat owner.
10. You look something like Ajax the Greater, without the muscle.
1. This food is awful; and the portions are so small.
2. Do these stairs go up or down?
3. I wonder if the crew sleeps onboard?
4. Does the ship make it's own electricity?
5. Those toilets will suck your nuts right down to the ocean!
6. Al Kaline couldn't hold Willie Keeler's jock strap (a small scuffle ensued)
7. I prefer LeKinff to Tarkay (what the hell?)
8. But how do you KNOW they are Cuban?
9. Sexual frustration is simply a matter of personal preference, just ask any Cowboy goat owner.
10. You look something like Ajax the Greater, without the muscle.
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