Best Team Nicknames

Southern Illinois University Salukis (college sports)
Albuquerque Isotopes (minor league baseball)
Springfield Isotopes (Simpsons)
Oslo Ice-O-Dopes (Scandinavian flaggledrop)
Macon Bacon (soft core sports)
Fredericksburg Flatulence (wedding planners associated)
St. John’s Shaft (actors’ guild of Wichita)
Otsego Nads (poetry club)
The (Sherman bowling)
Warrington Pink Funpockets (Eastern field hockey)
The Norton, Marion, & Worth, Esq. That Deep Crack Itch You Sometimes Get From Sitting Around Too Much (legal debating association)
UK Sniveling Piles of Pretentious Poo (Lincoln’s Trombone)
Atlanta Stoops 2 (Owen Field)
Cleveland Tromboners (symphonic Paleolithic circuit)
The Oklahoma If You Don’t Know the Backhoe Contingency You May as Well Reinforce Your Pants With Cellophane (inside jokesters)

Shit from Shinola

Shinola: Lebron

Shit: Lebron's ego

Shinola: Niel Loebig

Shit: Sal Muncy

Shinola: Al Kaline's spleen juice

Shit: Ochocinco's spleen juice

Shinola: Michael Jackson

Shit: Michael Jackson's sleepover with the Culkin brothers

Shinola: The glory of "Lost"

Shit: Getting Lost in my pants

Shinola: Tim Tebow

Shit: Tim Teboner

Shit: Erik Estrada's body of work

Shit, part 2: Erik Estrada

Shinola: The magnificence of Stoops to Atlanta

Shit: Liver and Beets greatest hits

Shinola: Lincoln's Trombone

Shit: Fillmore's Kazoo

Top 5 things heard on the 1 train

5. A huffing glue addict sings an on-key version of 'If I were a rich man' from Fiddler on the roof after a 2 minute speech that had less than 25 words in it.

4. A one-man band of three trombones and a drum asks me to 'make some room for the band'.

3. Two old Jewish women discussing the horrible lunch they just ate, equally mentioning the small size of the portions, blissfully unaware of the opening lines of Annie Hall.

2. A Michael Jackson impersonator, that neither looked, sounded or danced like the King of Pop.

1. A human 'Statue of Liberty' belching (almost sounded like the 'William Tell Overture')

Indepence Day: Ode to feral pigs

I sing of those that rode the ark

and wonder why they traveled?

Did not the pig of ham suffice for man?
I suppose not, these non-cud chewers

Have lived life abundant, though hunted.

HAIL THE BOAR! HAIL THE RAZORBACK!

Ye Arkansas clan unite as one!

Your mighty mascot dwelleth

In swamps and shit and scum untold

Not unlike your fellow kinsmen.

Feral pride is beyond measure to all

Whose bathroom hole is dug without septic

And relief for urges cry "cuzzin"

HAIL THE BOAR! HAIL THE RAZORBACK!