Best and Worst Super Bowl Commercials of 2014

Best, in no particular order:

· That Bud Light one that made some of the people at my Super Bowl party laugh.
· Millard Fillmore singing with Ironic Smegma was genius.
· Nancy Reagan farting the FOX NFL jingle was mildly amusing.

I don’t actually remember any of the others. Oh wait—the last one I saw that was actually funny had Letterman, Leno, & Oprah on a couch. Can’t remember exactly when it played though.

Worst:

· That Bud Light one, ‘cause it made only the stupid people at my Super Bowl party laugh.
· The Queen of England deep throating Richard Sherman crossed the line, in the humble opinion of this writer.
· The ones where the ad execs were trying so hard to be clever that they not only failed in that endeavor, but no one even remembers the product (at last count, there were 188 of these).

Peculiar Statements Made in the Bahamas, Summer 2009

Get your ass out of my rum.

Why is Schistosomiasis so fun to say, but such a pain to have?

I got your Grand Bahama, right here!

Eight bucks for a box of cereal? You got a lot of nerve calling this Free Port!

The backhoe contingency necessitates spiritual interpretations any way the wind blows, Herr Scheiss Monster.

Nassau?! Is dat named aftuh da one in New Yawk?

The ocean water is so warm there's no difference when I pee!

If conch fritters rhymed with diarrhea, I could write a poem about this place.

The next one who sings 'Glass bottomed boat, you make the rockin' world go 'round' gets knifed in the gizzard. Don't believe it? Try me!