City Challenge #13: Port Lucaya vs. Kibungo

Friendliness of the people:
Respect for everyone vs. disdain for tourists
Solid edge to Kibungo

Cost:
8 buck for milk vs 60 cent cabs
Another clear edge to Kibungo

Velocity at which food blasts through your digestive system:
Greasy division: Port Lucaya
Spicy division: Kibungo

Women:
Locals in wraps vs tourists in bikinis
No brainer to PL here. In fact, they get 2 for this one.

Roadways:
The K’o drivers are aggressive, but at least they drive on the correct side of the road.

TV:
5 channels vs 3 ESPNs
Edge to PL

Scenery:
Kibungo is beautiful, but everybody knows beaches trump mountains

Wildlife:
Running with zebras vs swimming with dolphins
Tie

Climate:
Cool year round vs ‘What the hell kind of sweat box is this?’
Edge to K’o

Music:
Rwandan music is nice, but, come on, man: PL has kettle drums!

Currency:
Bahamian is interchangeable with US. Still, it doesn’t have gorillas on it.

Aggressiveness of the market sellers:
They’re insistent in PL, but it’s strictly A ball compared to the major leagues of Ko.

Pollution:
Littered beaches vs air that smells like diesel
Edge to PL only because they’re at least making some attempt to clean the beaches

Accents:
French vs understandable
Edge to PL

Winner: Port Lucaya 8-7. They move on to the round of 512.

Peculiar Statements Made in the Bahamas, Summer 2009

Get your ass out of my rum.

Why is Schistosomiasis so fun to say, but such a pain to have?

I got your Grand Bahama, right here!

Eight bucks for a box of cereal? You got a lot of nerve calling this Free Port!

The backhoe contingency necessitates spiritual interpretations any way the wind blows, Herr Scheiss Monster.

Nassau?! Is dat named aftuh da one in New Yawk?

The ocean water is so warm there's no difference when I pee!

If conch fritters rhymed with diarrhea, I could write a poem about this place.

The next one who sings 'Glass bottomed boat, you make the rockin' world go 'round' gets knifed in the gizzard. Don't believe it? Try me!