1. That translucent liquid that squirts out the first time you use the mustard
2. The saddle sores on Lady Godiva’s ass
3. Danny Bonaduce’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
4. The nose hair fairy
5. A Dolphin fan celebrating a win
6. The guitar solo from The Torture Never Stops
7. Rudy Giuliani's impersonation of Hannah Montana
8. The semaphore version of the wind beneath Abe Vigoda's scales
9. Mark McGwire’s Hall of Fame acceptance speech
10. The perfume my ex-girlfriend wore that night she vomited Boone’s Farm all over the console
11. A guy with his hand in his pants
12. An unpopped blackhead
13. Nick Smegma
14. A sporkful of Cheez Whiz
15. The act of merrily awakening to scofflaws with sunburn
16. An UFC fan on his way to a Mensa meeting
17. Cranial nerve VIII
18. Man O’ War’s rotting corpse
19. That stuff on sunny-side up eggs that looks like snot
20. Snot
14 October 2007
Halloween Costumes I’ve Been Unable to Find
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5 comments:
I found #11 at a garage sale last weekend, but couldn't get the damn thing over my ass. #10 brings back memories "and they called her, CHARLIE!" (like IE makes it more feminine) Your list is good, though.
I'm currently searching for:
1. Al Kaline's spleen
2. Pia Zadora's academy award
3. Gelatinous spam mocking the mere existence of turnip poetry.
I bought a Britney Spears costume, but they forgot the love handles.
They say to dress up as whatever frightens you the most. I'm going as myself in 1989.
I'm looking for a vintage Tom Osborne, circa 1990's.
I'm going to dress as sobriety.
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