Jaundiced Misgivings

I have recently found myself being attacked by a bitch reminiscent of 'Yeats Beast'.

No, she isn't particularly ugly nor does she possess the unmistakable odor of tuna gone bad.

So, what to do? How do you engage or otherwise attack such a beast? How do you defeat vbf spawn?

My first try, poetry:

Roses are red,
violets are blue;
Go f**k yourself.

Not good, though I particularly get a kick out of the ending.

Second try, philosophical reasoning:

Maintain a philosophical attitude, madam;
eschew all things philodoxical.
Suspend judgment and thoughtfully weigh considerations and reasons.
Above all else, eat me, you *** su**ing a**hole!

Really over the line, good as it might feel.

Finally, an attempt at good ol' boy humor:

How they hangin', ****stick?

So yes, quite jaundiced, and quite unsure, I opt for the only solution:

One teaspoon of Al Kaline's spleen juice, given on an empty stomach.....