01 June 2007

The cool side of the pillow

A question I’m almost never asked is how to write a sea chantey. So I did a little research and concluded that the only real requirements are that they 1) include nautical terms and 2) make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Something like:

Smegma ahoy! That mighty wave.
Devotion aye! Thar’ seamen crave.
So starboard ho! That foreskin stench.
Afore away! Thou thirst will quench.
Labia-ha! It rests aft there.
Twelve knots hurrah! My bottom’s bare.
We love it so! That cheesy stuff.
Sail schooner hey! Can’t get enough.

(Repeat)

2 comments:

General Fester said...

After reading that melodic chant, I'm sure your phone will be ringing off the hook for advice, matey!

Ahoy me lad, my westward winds fill yer sails with seaman....so to speak.....

Anonymous said...

Plagiarist! I saw this very chanty in Sea Chanty Bulletin, 32, 97.

The audacity, nay, the unmentionable gall!

But I give you 4 nods of the head for recognizing the genius of this prose.