If I had a pile of decaying meat, I’d probably name it Milo.
I used to think that the imaginary presence that lives in my spleen was the finest neurosurgeon in the northern hemisphere. Turns out it’s just some guy named Jeff.
Green Eggs & Ham: Orange cover. Bowling Green University: Orange uniforms. Coincidence? Yeah, right. And the Tonys aren’t fixed.
My sources tell me that the producers of “So You Think You Can Dance” are working on an action adventure series they plan to call “23.” It features a super agent named Zack Power.
The pancreas may well be the most underrated of the internal organs. It not only flawlessly performs its, um, you know…pancreatic functions, but does so in complete darkness.
When someone says, “I look forward to meeting you,” I sometimes answer, “You’ll look BACKward to meeting me!” even though I know it’s not funny.
If my toilet was clogged and I had to choose one poet from the Bengali medieval period to unclog it, I would probably go with Jayadeva, as he was, in my opinion, most likely to be the handyman of the bunch. Vidyapati seems a bit whiny for the task and Badu Chandidas would surely overthink it. The other medievals are, in my opinion, unworthy of consideration.
I’ve noticed that a lot of guys who say, “What can I do ya for?” have difficulty matching their socks to the rest of their clothing.
Uvula: Good-ass word.
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Madcap adventures from the mind of Aesop's favorite badger....
2 comments:
I would be inclined to go with Krtitvas Ojha. I think he would have preferred the closet auger method to the snake and more importantly, the word 'tit' is in his name.
Pancreas are for pussies. If EVER there were a phallic wannabe..
I'm in total agreement on the Green Eggs & Ham thing. And perhaps not too coincidentally, I had eggs and ham right before going on campus to the U of Miami?
If you think Krtitvas had it tough, you should have seen his sister, Krbloodydiarrheavas Ojha.
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