A closed head injury
“A Dummy’s Guide to Infidelity” by David Letterman (with Foreword by Tiger Woods)
“Soldier or Anteater” NFL locker room hidden camera guessing game
Frat Party Simulator (pay the extra for the projectile vomit sprayer)
Cleveland Browns season tickets (the deals on these keep getting better)
Petrified smegma
An electric balloon
Earwax statue of Millard Fillmore (get started early on this one)
Barbed wire jockstrap (unsalted)
Backhoe contingency lair spotters fresh off the highway of lust
Hemorrhoid glitter
A subscription to Lincoln’s Trombone
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11 comments:
I need some ratings!
I want a Nobel Peace Prize, but I don't want to have to do the actual work required...oh wait--that was last year's wish. Never mind.
I want to deboard the Right-Hand Express!
I want some Bad Santa. And beleve you me, I know how to say thank you when I get what I want!
I'd like some creativity so I can stop pretending to be a tough guy.
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