08 February 2008

10 Valentine’s Day Presents That Might Surprise Your Mate


1. Pork

2. Snow tires

3. A dramatic interpretation of crotch rot

4. A wiener puppet portraying the head and torso of surgical pioneer Johann Diffenbach

5. The Ironic Smegma Boxed Set

6. A titty-twister

7. A “19-0 = History” sweatshirt

8. Millard Fillmore’s decaying corpse

9. A life sized cast of your proudest turd

10. Diamond spleenlets

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pain

Anonymous said...

This is a very clever list. I always give my significant other "pork" on special occasions, but he's never surprised, per se, unless it's during Yo Gabba Gabba....

Anonymous said...

If I've said it once, I've said it a THOUSAND times; Diffenbach is no pioneer - he was a CHARLATAN! He set back cranio-facial surgery 10 years!(see op ed, june 7, 1921, Trombonist Monthly)

Anonymous said...

Whatever you do, don't give her a digital frame displaying your 100 best BMs. It's something I learned the hard way.

Anonymous said...

A subscription to BurnLounge.