24 January 2008

Questions to ask on Super Bowl Media Day


Are you guys going to try to win, or just keep from getting blown out?

Do you like me?

Who would you rather, you know—your wife or a Dolphins cheerleader?

As a follow-up, why do your cheerleaders look like an Iditarod sled-pulling team?

Have you ever vomited handkäse on the side of a stagecoach museum?

How hard was it to look your coach in the eye after you found out he’s a cheater?

Why isn’t Adrian Petersen here? He’s a lot better than you.

What’d you think when The Bachelor didn’t select any of the remaining babes?

If you had even half the personality that Peyton does, do you think you’d get more endorsements?

If you had even half the personality that your brother does, do you think you’d get more endorsements?

Are New Yorkers like me—do they giggle every time someone says Y. A. Tittle’s name?

Who’s your favorite Romanticist? And don’t say Blake!

When did Boston fans go from “nobody is as unlucky as us” to “nobody knows how to win like we do”?

Do you realize that every boxer alive thinks you play a pussy sport?

I heard the public schools in New York City are awful. Do you find your fans to be somewhat stupid?

Which of your teammates would you say has the sluttiest wife?

If you were gay, would you find me attractive?

Is it true that the word “Massachusetts” is Native American for “the smegma is caking”?

Think that Strahan guy ever heard of dentistry?

Without naming names, how many of your offensive linemen are on steroids?

Where’s Tiki?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Let me get this straight—it’s your wide receiver who batters women and your quarterback who impregnates them, right?

Anonymous said...

Here's 1 for NYG losers:

Forget football—think they’ll ever get decent baseball in NY?

Anonymous said...

Remember back before all the arrests and scandals when the Pats pretended to be a high character team?

Anonymous said...

So Tom, you went to U of M, right? Does that place have the ugliest women or what?

Anonymous said...

I took 3 dumps this morning, totaling over 40 inches of shit.

Anonymous said...

All you yanks be sure to enjoy your little game of huddling (or is it snuggling?). Meanwhile, on this side of the pond, we'll be playing actual football.