The Ballad of Nick Smegma

There was a team they called the fish
Who won most of their games.
But when December rolled around,
Their play was rather tame.

“A new coach! That will fix our plight!”
Said fans in fish-dom-land.
“Our last two haven’t won enough
“And that we cannot stand!

“There is a coach named Smegma.
“I think his first name’s Nick.
“He’ll cost a lot of money,
“But he might do the trick!”

So Smegma came and coached the fish
And drafted players new.
They couldn’t run or block or catch.
Big plays? Well, there were few.

And even though they won oft’ not,
Coach Smegma said he’d stay:
“I’m never going anywhere
“No matter what they pay!

“A promise is a promise
“As such, it must be kept!”
Nick seethed at every question as
The fish grew more inept.

But as the losses mounted up.
Fans saw Nick was a sham.
“I’m staying!” he announced once more,
Then left for Alabam.

Remember that team called the fish,
Who won most of the time?
They’re losing still. Though Smegma’s gone,
He left a trail of slime.