14 September 2007

Assignment Haiku

Write about what happens when Nickelodeon characters cease to be solids and take other forms.


Patrick, great starfish;
An FM radio wave:
The two merge as one.

Diego: Now steam
From a boiling pot of grits;
His nuts no longer.

Imaginary
Is Eliza Thornberry.
(It’s kind of scary!)

Neutron’s dog Goddard
Dissipates into smegma.
Never shall he wave.

Though spirits one time,
Timmy’s Fairly Oddparents
Are pus in a zit.

Magenta, ex-dog
Now reproduces comics
As Silly Putty.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Haiku isn’t just about 5-7-5. M’lads, there’s simply more to it than that (he said, tittering). The bard must project feeling, hand gripping emotion, that la-la-la of life! THAT’S what the masters intended, not some number-of-syllables matching game. Observe:

Boots, friend of Dora,
Evaporates as a gas
For reasons unknown.

I rest my case. You're exceedingly welcome!

Anonymous said...

5-7-5? So you are telling me that this isn't a Haiku?

fu*k Sh!t damn hell c*ck
eat my balls you faggot cane
my farts smell like rose(s)

Anonymous said...

Will o' the wisp bleats
Ahoy mateys!Smegma abounds!
Reaper doth flounder

That me boys is poetry a fittin' a pirate!

Anonymous said...

Anti & Joe--Clearly, there's no denying your obvious talent. But what the Stan Mikita do those haiki have to do with Nickelodeon? Pay attention!

Anonymous said...

Here's a nick haiku for you:

Bob's a wanker lick
his pants filled with sticky goo
disney kicks nicks a$$