28 March 2014

The 5 People You Meet Up Erik Estrada's Bunghole

Some excerpts from Mitch Albom's new tour de force:

"Sal Muncy?! I haven't seen you since college! Wow—it was with you that I learned how to satisfy a woman."

"Are you kidding me, you asshole? You always finished faster than Usain Bolt on steroids."

*          *          *          *          *

"Will Robinson? What are you doing here?"

"Hey, anything is better than hearing that damn robot yell your name any time there's even a hint of danger. In a way, I’m still Lost in Space. Get it? Haw haw haw!!! Oh crap—Ponch diarrhea just shot out my nose! Ahhh! PONCH DIARRHEA! DANGER! PONCH DIARRHEA!"

*          *          *          *          *

"So let me get this straight--you’re   Ted Nugent's willy?"

"Wang Dang Sweet Brown Tang!"

*          *          *          *          *

Then I saw a badger and feared that I must tred lightly.
"Relax," spoke the varmint. "I was Aesop's favorite."
*          *          *          *          *

"Erik Estrada? But...? How...? is that even possible?" 

4 comments:

mitch a. said...

About time you shit birds posted something worthwhile!

ernest h. said...

I find Mr. Albom's writing style excessive. The use of modifiers is unwarranted. Therefore I will kick his ass. And then I will kick yours. So eat me.

guy who files with his nads said...

Nobody fears a paper cut more than me!

liver & beets said...

Weren't 2 of them O'Connells' assholes going to make that journey a few years back? Where are they? Or did that prissy board admin stop the story AND the trip?