Rejected Tax Deductions

1. Weight gain therapy for consuming food while watching the commercials during the Biggest Loser.

2. Tuition to the Erik Estrada dramatic acting school.

3. Losses incurred from the treatment of sexual disease given to you by your cousin (or cousin's farm animal - Arkansas only...)

4. Spit valve reconstruction therapy using any method other than Loebig/Muncy.

5. Removal of Al Kaline's spleen

6. Any deduction for adding 'in bed' to the end of a sentence. (will be criminally prosecuted)

7. Claims for lost work time due to re-enacting Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (unless prescribed by a physician)

8. Social hick talking lessons