Order a Pepsi. When the attendant tells you they only serve Coke, yell, “Imperialist Swine!” in a thick middle eastern accent.
Try to clear your row by telling people you need the space to simulate the moors in which you typically pray.
When the meal cart comes out, start sniffing loudly and asking the people around you, “Who farted?”
Whenever the pilot talks over the sound system, grab your head and scream, “There’s that voice again!”
Put your paperback in the overhead bin. Tear out one page. When you finish, stand up and get the next page. Continue until the book is finished.
“Accidentally” miss your mouth with your coffee, thereby spilling it on that kid behind you who keeps kicking your seat.
Smear Vaseline all over the seat back. If anyone says anything, explain that you’ll be masturbating later.
When waiting in line for the bathroom, describe your nastiest episode of diarrhea; keep track of how quickly you get to the front of the line. Race your friends.
Blow spit bubbles into the food of the first-class passengers. Tell them you’re part of their in-flight entertainment.
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7 comments:
Sit by the most beautiful girl you can find on the plane and f**k her brains out the entire way...
"Admire" your latest trophy, if you catch my drift.
Whatever you do, don't crap with the door open. Flight attendants get all mad and shit!
I once field dressed an opossum while enjoying a business class flight from Lisbon to Jakarta. Of course, that was pre-9/11. Now I just have to keep jacking them off until we land....
I like to think up ways to lose big games without making it too obvious.
I write jokes. Like this one: What's a 6? A lower-case b with bad posture! HA!!
Pissing on a plane is the cat's meow!
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