It’s a cryin’ shame that the mighty Tim was robbed of the Heisman. Yes, a shame—and here’s a short list why:
• Tebow put the team on his back after their undeserved loss. Percy Harvin and the rest of the untalented stiffs simply tagged along for the ride.
• Tebow will head butt a wrecking ball if that’s what it takes to inspire his lazy-ass teammates.
• Tebow actually coaches his team behind a cardboard cutout of “Urban Meyer”
• Tebow never pees in the shower. And if he did, drains would unclog, I’ll tell you that right now!
• Tebow is Santa Claus.
• Tebow solved Lost and knows all the secrets of the island.
• When Tebow shakes hands, metacarpals turn to dust.
• When Tebow takes a dump, fields of lilies wish they smelled so good.
• When he’s in a bind, Jack Bauer calls Tebow for advice.
• Tebow collects for the Salvation Army while simultaneously playing Flight of the Bumblebees on a bass trombone.
• Obama prayed daily that Tebow wouldn’t run.
• Tebow satisfied your girlfriend like she’s never been satisfied before.
• Tebow pulled Pete Carroll’s pants up and chased him off my porch.
• Tebow prosecuted OJ.
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10 comments:
When Tebow dance, that what all lovely and shit!
Tebow cheat Sabn out of NC hey ref how bout some dam calls bitch?
Tim Tebow is greater than or equal to me....
There's the Alaska Pipeline and then there's TEBOW! if you know what I'm sayin...
1. I don't care for the word poignant.
2. Somebody needs to invent a good dinkwash.
A grizzly once attacked Tebow on a hunting trip. Despite the efforts of surgeons, therapists, and pain specialists from around the globe, the bear still died.
FIRST!
Eat it losers!
ya dont mess with the Teeb-man. Or with my diarrhea medicine!
How was the game, future version of me?
Past me, you should have seen it. The announcers clearly read this blog and were unwavering in their admiration of Saint Tim. I don't know it for a fact, but I'm guessing there was oral sex involved.
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