Hey, I get mail too!
Dear Duke of Coagulation: Based on your recognition of both poetry and prose, I have to say that you’re clearly a literary sort of guy. My question is this: Why do SBDs stink so much? Especially the ones that burn. Mookie Saluki
Dear MooSal: What—they don’t have a literature department there at SIU? Let them handle your question.
Dear Duke: You clearly know a lot of celebrities (e.g., Al Kaline, Ted Nugent, General Fester). Have you ever met Diffenbach? Old Doc Potter
Dear Sherm: Have I ever met Diffenbach? Does Millard Fillmore kick ass?
Dear Duke: Are these letters real or composed by you? Milt Laerton
Dear ML Junior or Senior (whichever one you are): Most are real. Yours, however, is one I made up.
Dear Duke: How about mine? Niel Loebig
Dear DUQB: Seems real to me.
Dear Duke: What kind of an idiot would waste his or her time reading your asinine blog? Man’s Man in
Dear Ma’ma’s Boi: The classification schema for idiocy is based on a number of parameters—intelligence, impulsiveness, and childishness, to name but a few. Those who frequent this site tend to be characterized by traits clustering within the alpha subclass of the factor butthead. Also guys who like to say “Ooga!” in high voice.
