01 June 2010

Ranking Nothing in Particular

What a difference my teeth make!

Top 5, last time I brushed:

1. ‘I Like Ike’ buttons taught to French kiss
2. Stew that’s all, like, salty for the wrong reasons, know what I’m sayin’?
3. The overlap of concentric circles representing the Franklin Mint and armpit odor
4. Porcelain counter tops that amplify electronic flatulence
5. Middle management techniques that include saying “Wonka wonka wonka” while swallowing junior mints

Top 5, week of, 2010:

1. Overheard in 1958: “That right fielder of the Tigers looks like he’d have some mighty dee-lish spleen juice!”
2. Mountain bikers who wipe their bums with liquid nails
3. Links pertaining to, but not directly referencing, pepper-stained ovaries
4. Seaside gentlemen who seem exceedingly sensitive about their whiskey-scented urine
5. Final French fish that isn’t a rock reference?

1 comment:

man boobs said...

I wish you a-holes would rank my nipples. They're big, hard, & exquisite!