You know, in this mad rush of a world we live in, much uncertainty exists. In fact, we are constantly bombarded with a certain modern relativism that suggests that nothing we hold dear is certain. Just today, I found out that Moses was not a prophet, did not see God. He was a BC junkie; a historical version of Jimi Hendrix. Proof is here . As the day wears on into night, I realize that I cannot be sure of virtually any significant fact or belief that I have held true to this point in my life for fear of being publicly reprimanded or proven wrong. (Can you just imagine what Moses day would be like???) So, to preserve my sanity, I have created a list of obscure facts that I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN are true. I am currently considering whether this list of ten items could be the basis for a new world religion. I guess after some discussion , we could decide this as a group.
1. Enlarged left testicles can cause some awkward package positioning.
2. Yeat's Beast lives and is embodied in a modern female political figure.
3. My charcoal grill is having an affair with the neighbor's cat.
4. Sal Muncy is not a real person.
5. The preacher dude in Chariots of Fire died of aids. (He shouldn't have 'run' on Sunday)
6. There is a hidden Mickey in my pubes.
7. Texas (sucks) emits a distinct odor.
8. I don't understand toe fetish.
9. Flaggledrop is not particularly obtuse.
10. Martha Hicks sucks dead donkey d**ks (or so a kid in 7th grade told me)
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7 comments:
wah, wah, wah...so Moses was a trippin' Jew. Get over it already. No different than my last five agents. BTW, my pubes are groomed in the shape of a centaur. And that is a FACT that thousands of satisfied ladies can attest to.
Hears a fact for u: Eat me.
In my time as a changeless entity, here are the facts I’ve learned:
The planet Zestra has the highest standard of living in the universe, even the parts run by €¥εη∫±δθ (loosely translated as 'Dickhead the Dictator').
There are asteroids that 1) are used as prisons, 2) don’t have bathrooms, and 3) have atmospheres that can’t decompose human waste. One day they will be large enough to be classified as planets.
The best soccer is played on Dragiohl-hatk. On the other hand, Xawdesklip is tops at maulikki hunting.
Cooked cauliflower tastes like shit.
There is no perfect rhyme for flatulence.
This blog blows.
This blog rules! Where else can you get comments from Ponch AND Zeus, father of the gods, on the same topic!
I agree with you, mighty one about cauliflower and Zestra, but Dragiohl-hatk can suck my balls.
I read another story today that hobbits are retarded short humans.
Kinda like Gilbert Gottfreid or something...
Sal Muncy is not a real person? Then who the HELL was I banging last night?
I know for a FACT that my asshole is sure sore!
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