11 March 2008

BREAKING NEWS!

Lincoln’s Trombone has been provided with a copy of a phone conversation that we believe to be authentic. (Well, we paid $29.95 for it….)

Client #8: "Hey ya, Kirsten, this is your favorite john!"

Kirsten: "Hugh Grant! I've been waiting to hear from you, honey!"

Client #8: "No, goddammit, this isn't f**king Hugh Grant. It's George Foxx."

Kirsten: "I don't know a Georg.... Oh wait a minute! I remember you! You paid me $10,000 to jack you off while you were kissing a picture of that insurance dude. Greenspan, Greenman...something like that. I really didn't think I'd hear from you again after our last time."

Client #8: "Hell yes, bitch. I've been so damn lonely. It's really hard being me. I thought of a cute hooker joke for you! What do you ask a guy who gives you $25k? Spitzer Swallows! GET IT? HAHAHAHA!"

Kirsten: "Ummm, thanks. I'll try to remember that one. Hey did you ever get that big nasty red spot checked? I am a little nervous."

Client #8: "Why be nervous baby?"

Kirsten: "Well after that session we had with the goat and the Albanian dwarf.....well, you can't be too careful. Oh yeah, that chick that was married to the Clanton dude. What was her name? It was kinda like that dude that went to the South pole. HA? Just like you like to do! Anyways...is she coming again? HA another joke! No, is she JOINING us again? I don't like it when shes there. She doesn't tip very well..."

Client #8: "No, she isn't coming....I mean...HAHA, isn't joining us this time. She's found another piece of shrubbery. OK, so what's the deal? We gonna hook up tonight or what? I took some cialis, but dammit if it didn't get used up when I was shaving! I am dead, f**king sexy!"

Kirsten: "Yeah, right....I guess so. My hand always cramps up trying to hold your little thingy..."

Client #8: "Listen bitch, for $5k you think you could at least pretend that I was well-hung...after all, it's the motion of the ocean, right? AND be careful...(whisper) you never know who might be listening...

Kirsten: "Oh yeah, that reminds me. This dude from the IRS called and said that I owed some taxes and that I could either pay him back by f**king him or f**king you. Guess which one I chose, haha!"


Transmission ends......



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can tell you unequivocally; this is bullshit. Client #9...er 8 is hung like a f**king racehorse. End of story.

Anonymous said...

George Foxx nibbles dingleberries.

Anonymous said...

Client number #9 and I shared some of the doobie after a nice little rim job.....

PS: He wanted me to call him either professor or skipper, but he does it more like Doogie Howser.

Anonymous said...

Figures the Clintons would be involved. As a purely objective Democrat with no ties to any of the candidates, all I can say is that I'm going to be looking closely at the other guy.