“Oh Father, the tree is ever so lovely this year!”
“Merci, my dear. When I first laid eyes upon it, I thought it was splendid and, with a knowing wink, said to the gentleman in the lot, ‘My good man, the Gheys simply must have this gorgeous specimen!’”
“Let’s unwrap the gifts!”
“Yes, let’s shall!”
[unwrapping noises]
“Oh my! This sweater is exquisite! My everlasting thanks, m’lady!”
“Oh Father!”
[laughter, followed by more unwrapping noises]
“The complete works of Truman Capote! A touch naughty, but I likey!”
“I’m pleased that you’re pleased!”
“Oh Father, we love all your presents. Thank you so so so so so much!”
“Shopping is even more of a treat when guided by love!”
“I was about to opine that Christmas is the best, but no.”
[gasps]
“Father, you are the best! You fill the Ghey home and hearth with such love!”
“I bow to your compliments, for I am humbled.”
“But still incorrigible!”
“Ho ho!”
“What shall we do next? Try on our new outfits?”
“Is there a foot ball match on the telly?”
“Ho ho! Foot ball?! You always were the black sheep of the family!”
“Speaking of such, Father, I have a confession. At University, I shan’t be majoring in theatre.”
[silence]
“Then what? Literature? Willst thou be a playwright?”
“Oh my! I sense a tiff arising and must ask who would like to partake in snow sledding.”
“Oh, let’s shall!”
“Yes!”
“Oh yes!”
“Not I.”
[silence]
“Say again? You’d miss such jollification? Is your heart too light for the dales on this morn?”
“Nothing like that. It’s just that someone has to prepare the hot chocolate for when the hardy sledders return from their sporty endeavor.”
“Last one out has lumps of coal in their stocking!”
4 comments:
Lustfully sledding, the red-cheeked riders return for their Hot Cocoa.
"Delightful, dear sister! It coats the throat and pleases my palette!"
"You shan't be overly theatrical, silly girl!"
"Let's gather around the fire and talk of Ghey Christmas past!"
"Let's! Whilst we gather, I have tremendous news!"
"Tell us, silly Ghey Father!" screamed the brood in orgasmic delight.
"I am to be married on the fortnight!"
"Oh, Father, you please and tickle our senses! Such excitement as the reciting of Yeat's poetry!"
"It will be the best Ghey wedding of all, filled with partridges and the smell of rose petals!"
"But who is the lovely bride to be??"
"The name of my well-nigh betrothed is Tracy."
"How delightful!"
"Father! You've been holding out on us! Tell us about Tracy! You simply must!"
"Well son, Tracy will make a splendid Ghey--warm and tender, but flamboyant enough to light up any room with magnificence! I'll warn you though--it's a package that comes with a sense of humor that's bawdy, bordering on naughty!"
"Sounds like a perfect match, Father!"
"Ho ho! You children!"
"So when do we get to meet--"
[Ding dong]
"Oh my, the door bell!"
"Whoever can it be?"
"Let ME answer the bell", said gaga ghey, the youngest of the gheys.
"Pish-Posh, gaga! It shall be my turn to turn fathers nob!"(the gheys had names for everything)
"But I like fathers nob better than anyone!" said Frederick Ghey, "It's ever so gentle!"
Father ghey laughed and said, "No one can turn my nob like I can!" and opened the door.
The door opened and he was splashed with a warm sticky substance and the sound of laughter.
No other than.....
“Tracy!” exclaimed Father, wiping the goo from his face.
“None other!” replied the new fiancé, with a touch of mirth. The children laughed in merriment.
“Quite an entrance!” chuckled the child they called A. Little II. “Flamboyant! And packing some manner of squirting device also! How simply wonderful!”
“You’ll fit in well with the Gheys!”
“Oh my yes!”
“But I must beg your indulgence! Whatever did you spurt upon dear Father’s countenance?”
Tracy whirled and sat upon the love seat with a flourish, exclaiming, “It is homemade! Especially for the holidays!”
“And delicious! Ho-HO!”
“From the way Father is drinking it in, it must be quite splendid!”
“May we all take part? Tell me Tracy, have you more to share?”
“Open your mouths and close your eyes! Treats for all! It will be our last hurrah!”
[moment of aghast silence]
“Last? But you've only just arrived!”
“It is with great misgivings that I tell you I shan't stay. Worse, fate portends against my marrying into this delightful family.”
“How sorrowful! But do tell. Why?”
“Yes, why indeed?”
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