A note, found at a grisly suicide scene...
1. Plaid sweater from the Gap (makes us look fat).
2. Chic-Fil-A calendar (he's getting fat). **** you asshole! You are the tub of lard! Please don't go messing up my post. EAT ME.
3. Starbucks gift card (makes fat dumb**** gassy). I'm gonna kick your ass! Oh wait....you DON'T have an ass, lamebrain.
4. My turn ****stick....We are taking back that book of romantic poetry your faggot boyfriend bought you. Oh no you don't! That is my favorite gift and Harold was so sweet to think of us. US? I hat that mother-*****...always sticking his tongue in my side of our mouth! And he can't keep his hands off my ****. Your ****? I don't think so, girlfriend! But he does like your pretty little ass! SHUT THE **** UP!
5. That stupid tea set and biography of Liberace. RUBBISH you lotharian! It WILL NOT go back. I love formal tea service and Liberace was a graceful, loving human being. A man's man! You are a ****ing flaming faggot! Liberace was a turd pounder. And we won't have tea..NOT ON MY WATCH. OK, just fine. Do you want everyone to know about that night you went camping with Thad? I tried to sleep...I tried to forget about it....Great, you ***che-bag. THANKS A ****-LOAD. Now EVERYONE knows. IT WAS JUST ONE TIME. And it's your fault -made me go see Brokeback with your 'girl' friends. That's it. You've gone too far. I'm hurt. I'm taking back the Skil-Saw. The HELL you will! Thad bought that for ME! It was our first Christmas. What am I saying... I think we all know who the meat lover is in the family....OH MY GAWD....Does Mom know? I can't take this anymore....where's my 5 in one screwdriver set? PUT THAT DOWN. You'll put out our eye! Stop it! That hurts......NO!
Text ends......
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6 comments:
Well, that'll happen.
now that would be an AWESOME movie with me in it! I could star as both guys and show my buff bod twice! Of course, they couldn't be gay or die or anything like that. Maybe instead of being cojoined, they could be regular twins or something. Or maybe not even twins. Then I could have a couple of hot chicks to get it on with on top of a sweet ride. Maybe I kill some gay dudes? I LOVE it....
I worked with a set of twins joined at the nips. They were 85 before I could motorboat either one of them.
CJ Twins nibble dingleberries.
If I had twins, I'd name them Nebuchadrezzar and Jiffy Pop.
you people are seriously fucked up. maybe brilliant, but fucked up
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