17 June 2008

Ranking Nothing in Particular

What a difference Clarence Williams III makes!

Top 5, June 17, 2008:

1. The nectar of spleen from the flower of Kaline
2. Class presidents who place Foster Grants on their wieners
3. Blood Drives featuring AMC Pacers
4. Lucky fence menders holing up in flower beds to sword fight with their urine
5. That time I said, “Tell Mannix I liked it when he implied that stowaways flex sideways in the heat of Herman Munster chef-like banana cakes waxed incidentally, be-yotch!”

Top 5 if my flexor’s CB radio handle was “Malt Droppings”:

1. The non-musical bleating of frozen uvula wind chimes
2. Suppression of the brain waves responsible for morning wood
3. Battleaxe spinsters who scream trite colloquialisms about wig Velcro
4. Skid marks on fanciful aprons of lace
5. Duquesne redux: Only 127 days until the 2008 Lego Advent Calendar is released!! Which reminds me: All hail Master Po's mail droppings that release their temporary hangnails "oft to der Wings" in Schlitz!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What the hell do camel sauce Bavaria maps on porcelain countertops have to do to get into the top 5?!

Anonymous said...

You're living in the past if you think ANY class presidents deserve to be ranked above fence menders. But why am I griping--the summer tourneys will tell all.

Anonymous said...

Rumor has it Duke is out for the rest of the month. First Tiger, now DOC. Who's next, brother, who's next?

Boo-yeah!