It is with great pride that I announce that I have been selected to write the liner notes for the new Ironic Smegma boxed set, due out in time for the holidays. Below is my rough draft. I welcome any comments, critiques, advice, etc.
I remember the first time I heard of ‘80s icons Ironic Smegma. The breathless coed practically screamed in my ear that I had to hear this band!
“They’re tits and beer,” her boyfriend agreed.
At that time, IS had a new age influence I didn’t much care for, but there was no denying the talent. What’s more, they stayed within themselves: The four chords they played, they played damned well.
Curious, I followed the band through the decade, watching them add 2 additional chords, 4 hairdressers, and countless spandex jumpsuits. Over and over again, I examined the video for Foreskin Hair Gel, wondering if the band had peaked. Then, of course, came their tour de force, My Spandex is Stretchin’ (Because You’re so Fetchin’). Yes, the video featured the leather bikini, but there was more to it than that. For example…there was…um…oh hell, all I remember is the leather bikini.
In any case, through all the women, fame, women, hairstyles, and more women, IS never lost touch with their essential principle: Make as much money as possible and do it damned quickly. Perhaps, when the history of ‘80s music is written, that will serve as their greatest legacy.
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5 comments:
Ya got it all wrong, Dude. Put on some shades, don the chains, spike the hair, alter the mind, THEN write. If ya don’t FEEL cool (and I mean cooooooool!), yaint gonna WRITE cool! First off, you need a catch phrase, something to repeat throughout the p-graphs. Like: “Listen to the record!” or “The Michael Stanley Band is…” That way the readers know you’re not afraid to write high and lazy. Then you need to name drop (“As Joe Walsh once said to me…” or similar BS). Finally, make yourself sound like an audiophile. Say IS was the best of the 400 concerts you saw in calendar year 1985. Doesn’t matter if it’s true, Dude. That’s the ba-yooty!
Wow, you still remember me after all this time. I still have the leather bikini and most of it fits.
I toured with IS. They weren't as tough as the makeup, jumpsuits, heels, and perms would lead you to believe.
This sucks! I hate it when they hire people who only casually follow the band to write the history. Let's face it - Liner Notes writing is VITALLY important to ALL IS fan(s). The idea that they were in it for the money is stoopid. Unlike other bands, who shall remain nameless, this is only the 12th greatest hits album produced for IS and it has a previously unreleased version of the garage band hit "Sticky Pants, Sticky Fingers, Let's eat Tuna", one of the greatest 5 non released 'hits' of IS (who can debate that "Black Tar Lovin'" was easily the best?) I say let a REAL fan write the notes.
Saucy! I like everything about it. Except terrapinism, so inherent in the vibes. And that, my friend, is why I hate it. Music is soul, yes, but without the "crapsmanship" alluded to by Sinbad's Heminghorse, neither shall they wave. '80s wordsmiths, on the other hand, are noble if not exactly preenthelious. Your ability to elucidate that barometer is refreshing and the reason I love the notes. In short, read up on Rewlinko before actualizing the grant. Only that will make my hatred cease.
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